Look right ———————–>
…and we have!
Nice of all them newspapers to say thank you NOT.
Sign up for the weekly Popbitch mailout here like what I just did Buglers. It’s free and naughty – just like your impish seaside Boy Scout!
* Thanks to Bugler Sarah Dodd for alerting us to this and of course Bugler Tooth who started the whole ting in d’first place, mon.
* UPDATE: Look at the stats counter over t’there on d’right. Fizzin‘ man innit!
Meet Toby, a chatty two-year-old Bengal* who is clearly very good at also being a contortionist.
He’s gone walkabout and not been seen so keep your eyes peeled Buglers!
His normal prowl is around the boat yard in Government Road.
If you spot the little scamp leave a comment here, email email@example.com or send a tweet to owner @JenniferBruce16.
* Bengal cat, not tiger. Don’t have nightmares.
We made the news Buglers! We only made the ruddy news!
In the Scum!
In the Fnaar!
In the Daily Mirror!
The Daily Telegraph!
And the Waily Wail!
Also……. in New York City!
On The Poke!
Even over in Diddly Diddly Diddly Dee Oireland!
But don’t forget Buglers you read it HERE first!
Let’s just hope Look North West don’t want to interview any of us Buglers. No way am I sitting on Stuart Hall‘s knee again.
* Congrats to Bugler Tooth. Good things come to those who…
Sat this very morning bugling to my heart’s content, astride my mighty perspiring steed as it fiercely expunged its Brobdingnagian bowels gracefully, if somewhat endlessly, upon the sodden sands of our beach, after I sneered at weirdo dog owners who unlike us horse riders actually pick up the mess their animals leave behind (the horror!), my lungs heaving with billowing sea air and my hat knocked slightly askew by the bracing incoming breeze, my tummy suddenly awoke with a worrisome start, like a hospitalised coma victim emerging after months and months of hollow dreamless darkness only to discover Jimmy Savile at the bottom of the bed, greedily rubbing her feet in nary but a pair of overworn satin running shorts and a garish yellow-toothed smile.
It growled and it rumbled and it snarled to me much like a wet Morrison’s pensioner with a particularly troublesome fundament:
“Where oh where in the name of Lord Baden Powell and his trusty right hand man, Bunny, can you get a decent bacon sandwich in Hoylake?“
And do you know Buglers the thought then struck, like a fourteen-wheel juggernaut carrying a load of blacksmith’s anvils smacking firmly and without yield into the path of a thoroughly deserving Highway Code-defying cyclist, that it was a question that posed yet more questions than answers.
Now clearly Buglers we are dismissing any notion at all that the halfway house refuge of the damned that is Dreadedspoons has any place in this discussion.
Please, good fellow, move along with your 9am pint of stout after pretending you’ve just finished a night shift which by the way no one is buying into and the only person you’re kidding is yourself.
So where? Where? Where can we consume the finely cured flesh of a sliced up pig?
I meekly seek your advice Buglers.
Are you a Chantilly frequenter? A Cupcake connoisseur?
Do you opt for the Quirky for a quench and a munch? Or take a bite in the Bluebird?
Perhaps it’s The Little Deli who does it for you? Or is Flavours‘ food the way to go?
Or is it as I suspect, like Poirot before he ceased to be, this theatre of bristling gastronomic reverie?
Let us wonder no more Buglers.
Let us vote for our bacon. Let us be proud of our pig.
‘Tis either that – or I’ll see you in Spoons in the morning. Mine’s a blue WKD and a table full of salt.
And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust Buglers.
And they only want £32,000 of your bob-a-job loot to take it on and then lose the lot!
What generous terms!
If only the Blue Anchor had sold cupcakes and falafel and had oodles of “vision”, the towering Hoylake Village Life deities would have been right behind it!!!!!!
Opening on August 21 for breakfast dinner and tea apparently Buglers!
The website is here but at t’moment it only shows this poster.
Good luck to whoever it is!
PS Have the creaky killjoys not started whining about this yet? It’s going to sell drink with food to unsuspecting grown adults. Imagine! Call the plastic policemen!
A Bugler emails to point out something a bit odd.
How come our local councillors can have no say at all in whether or not we get even more ruddy wind turbines off our hallowed shore and yet a certain bunch of interlopers can? (Click on the link and read right to the bottom)
How come Buglers?
If councillors whose very role it is is to harrumph and interject on our behalf can`t even have a say then how come a group of people who’ve never been elected by anyone can?
And what the blazes might we expect the self-appointed exalted ones (peace be upon them) to say?
The wind farm expansion may result in more high street cup cake sales and, on behalf of every single person who has ever lived in Hoylake in the entire history of the village, we give it our total support
The only saving grace is that the extra turbines which will inevitably get installed because thats what happens around here when no one wants anything will probably end up chopping up a load of migrating birds meaning there’ll be one less pressure group around to moan about the Pebbles bog bar bistro cafe getting a licence if indeed this thing ever happens before the end of August.
* PS Buglers the firm that makes these hideous things is a Danish outfit called DONG. So it looks like the Vikings are back waving their thingamajigs around then!
It seems the future of the Pebbles bog bar bistro now lies, as it ever did, in the hands of toothless local councillors (yes, that’s you, Mr Name and Address Supplied!) and some gnarled old crones of both sexes who hate the idea of just about everything, but just as long as they’re happy.
Here at the Bugle Bungalow, and quite clearly elsewhere, we feel very differently.
Hoylake promenade is one of the most beautiful – and stunning – of its kind on the west coast of England with views beyond compare.
Online petitions bore the pants off me, Buglers, because they only attract the physically inept or the shrill. But nonetheless, click on THIS and support the Pebbles licence application.
And if it doesn’t succeed, not to worry – we can always go and get smashed at the Sailing Club and drive home like more than one or two of the regulars……
PS. This will be the last time I ever agree with Birkenhead’s Hoylake Village Life.